Bear in my Bead

The key finally slid into the lock and I opened the weathered door leading down into my apartment. I looked back at her and smiled. She shot a nervous grin back my way and we innocently stepped inside. As I shut the door, the reality of the situation hit me. This was the first time we were alone. It felt good. The city noise died, and our quick shallow breathing could be heard through the silence. The stink of the street floated away as her perfume wrapped itself around me. The vanilla was a pleasant reprieve from the polluted air that lingered outside. She was pure. A gentle reminder of how the world should be.
Glancing at my watch I hurried up the stairs. Fifteen minutes late and still two stories hovered between me and my destination. Walking up to the door I took a deep breath and entered. The class looked up at me. I was that kid. Late on the first day with no excuse other than I just simply forgot. I looked at the class and smirked, giving the impression that I didn’t care, that I lived my life with a certain reckless abandonment that discouraged questioning of my tardiness. I was a wreck, embarrassed, alone at the front of the class, all eyes on me. But there was a way out. In the back was an empty seat. I scurried down the row of students and dropped my bag onto the floor. The seat creaked. The professor continued her rant. I reached down to pick up my backpack, but a pen came crashing down and blocked my path. My hand grasped the obstacle and placed it on the desk next to me. Without glancing up I continued on toward my original goal. “Thanks” Whispered a voice under the drone of classroom discussion. I turned my head and instinctively smiled. There she sit, dirty brown hair swept across her forehead cascading down the right side of her face, twinkling blue eyes fixed on me. Her red hoodie was just tight enough to make out the slender frame that lay below. She was by no means the prettiest girl in the class, but she looked the most genuine and her demeanor begged for adventure. Restlessness burned deep inside of her and that made me more aroused than any pair of breasts or pretty face could.
“So this is it” I said opening my arms as if to reveal a grandeur worthy of royal acclaim. She nodded her head with arms folded. “I like those pipes hanging from the ceiling” she said as she pointed to the rusty gas lines that snaked through my basement apartment. “Thanks, they’re new, just had em put in yesterday.” Our eyes met and we smiled, both realizing my attempt at sarcasm was failed but noble none the less. She kicked off neon Nikes that hugged her feet to reveal mismatched black and white socks. She felt comfortable with me, I felt comfortable with her. “Here, I’ll give you the grand tour” I said in a regal voice. I took one step forward into the main room that housed my TV, couch and kitchen. “Here you got the entertainment center, and for efficiency, I had the kitchen put right next to my TV and couch.” She walked behind me, taking in every nuance. Every so often I would turn and catch a glimpse of her. She was interested in what I saying, she was having fun. I was having fun. I walked through an open door. “And this is well, my bed room”. Posters of obscure bands adorned my walls. The only light came from Christmas tree lights wrapped around the gas pipes that stretched like metallic vines into the far reaches of my room. She sat down onto my bed and looked around. “To be honest, I really like it” she said as she continued to pan her head. I stood still, leaning against my door frame; I couldn’t take my eyes off of her.
The lecture finally ended. Everyone one rushed up and out of the room. Everyone has some where to be. Perpetual motion plagues a generation where sitting still is equivalent to wasting life. We were not an exception. I followed the heard out into the hall. She was next to me. I smiled at her again, how could I not. “Hey, I’m Alexa” she said playfully as she put her hand out in front of her. Taken aback, I laughed and shook her hand. “Well hey Alexa, I’m Chris, it’s nice to meet ya”. That’s all it took. Walking down the stairs we joked about how boring class was, and how the teachers’ voice reminded us of golem from Lord of the Rings. Testing the waters, we began to bring up more and more personal questions and giving more and more revealing answers. She wanted to travel; she wanted to see the world. I wanted to be spontaneous; I wanted to be happy. We both wanted to live, but were too anxious and scared. Both of us had ADHD, we talked fast and changed subjects even faster. It was all so seamless, so natural. We reached the subway and I stopped. My train was coming. I looked at her and in a rushed lapse of judgment I asked, “Hey you wana see my apartment?” Shit, what a creepy thing to say. But without missing a beat she agreed. A wave of relief washed over my nervous core. The sun sank behind the looming city skyline and we boarded the B line.
The array of colored lights shone above us, they cast a warm glow on her face. She sat content, finding pleasure in soaking up the new surroundings. “What do ya want to do tonight?” I asked from my awkward position in the door way. She wrinkled her cute face, deep in thought, pondering the myriad of possibilities. “Nothing” she said looking up at me, “What do you wana do?” I walk to my computer. Hunched over, I began typing.
My heart races faster and faster every day. My tired body marches on, with little rest. I’m running myself into the ground and I know it. It makes me happy, the constant motion. But sometimes it’s too much. The stress builds; my heart skips beats, tired of the unyielding rapid pumping.
I click the mouse, a song beings to play. Pachuca Sunrise coasts out of the speakers as I sit down next to her. I lie down on my back and put my hands behind my head. She follows suit and lies beside me. Our feet dangle off the edge. “Midnight on the beach in the Mediterranean.” I look over and her eyes are closed. Her glossy lips mouth the words, her feet bounce to the beat. She looked so beautiful laying there. I slide my hand close to hers, our pinkies touched. Slowly our fingers find their way. My thumb caresses her thumb. I can feel her pulse, it quickens, and mine quickens. “Cargo ships move by tracing on the horizon line.” She slowly rolls over and looks at me. Her hair falls over mine. All I can see is her; all I could think of is one thing. My face slowly rises and I kiss her lips, softly and slowly. Our warm moist lips stick slightly as we ease apart. I look at her, she looks at me. I smile as she rests her head on my chest. I look down at her as I run my hand through her long soft hair. We both smile knowing how rare these moments are.
The streets outside are busy with aimless souls, the earth spins rapidly and our galaxy twirls out of control in the busy vacuum of space. One day well visit all the places in all the songs. Well scream from the tops of mountains and echo through the dips of valleys. We’ll travel this world with vigor, explore and live the lives we dreamed of. But for now, all that can wait, tonight we are two still bodies in a boiling sea of motion. I let out a deep breath and smile. I can’t see her lips, but I know she’s smiling too.